My First Wedding as
"Minister" and most probably my last! Had
fun, and the couple were just wonderful.
This is what I ginned up for their wedding.
(Arrival of the
Wedding Party)
Song:
_______________________________________________
(Welcome!)
Good Afternoon!
We
are gathered today, not to witness the beginning of what will be, but rather
what already is! We do not create this
marriage, because we cannot.
We can and will,
however, celebrate with Dale and Terry, their family, and friends, the
wondrous, joyful, (and
boring,) occurrence that has already taken place in their lives. And so
the ceremony begins!
(Ceremony)
Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience, and an
adventure in the most intimate of human relationships.
It is the joyous union
of two people whose friendship and mutual understanding have flowered in
romance.
Today Dale and Terry actively proclaim their love and their commitment
to each other, to the world.
And we gather here to celebrate, with and for them, as they create
something new, from something old.
This is where I’m supposed to speak of love and commitment, personal
and social reward, and the consequences of being married.
While it’s easy to read the canned speech that I received in
my ordination package, I felt that was too easy.
And I felt that since we all know each other,
I would deviate from the script a bit.
After all, I am the Minister today!
Marriage requires "love," a word we often use with
vagueness and sentimentality. I believe that today many people are confused about
what love really is.
Physical love IS readily available, but brief and
hollow.
Emotional love is even more confusing.
While two people can FEEL connected
emotionally, that feeling may last only until the next infatuation, or until
feelings get hurt.
Dedicated and committed love is a very rare and mystical
event that becomes a natural state of being.
So what do we mean by love?
When we love, we see things other people don’t see. We see
beneath the surface, to the qualities, which make our beloved special and
unique. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty. And to be loved is to
be seen, and known, as we are known to no other.
When someone loves us, they give us a unique gift: a piece
of them self, but a special piece that only they could give us.
We, who love, can look at each other's life and say, "I
touched his life," or "I touched her life," just as an
artist might say, “I touched this piece of wood.”
(I point to the Peace Pipe I made for them)
An old growth wood board from Don’s garage, an old leather
jacket from Good Will, feathers from an old rooster, and a weathered burled
knot found on a beach make up this new Peace Pipe.
They were found by me, and I was a part of its
creation, and it is a part of me, yet I freely give this new pipe from old
stuff to Terry and Dale.
Marriage is to belong to each other through a unique and
diverse collaboration, like two threads crossing in different directions, yet
weaving one tapestry together.
I believe that the secret of love and of a successful marriage
is similar to that of religion itself. It
is the emergence of the larger self. It
is the finding of one's life by losing it.
Such is the privilege of husband and wife to be each
himself, herself, and yet another; to face the world strong, with the courage
of two.
To make this relationship work, therefore, it takes more
than love.
It takes trust, to know in your hearts that you want only
the best for each other.
It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn
and grow, even when it is difficult to do so…
And it takes faith, to go forward together without knowing
what the future holds for you both.
While love is a natural state of being, these other
qualities are not as easy to come by.
They are not a destination, but a journey.
The true art of married life is in this inner spiritual
journey. It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities.
(The Commitment)
Dale and Terry, this celebration is the outward token of
your sacred and inward union of hearts, which the church and temple may bless,
and the state make legal, but which neither state nor church can create nor
annul.
It is a union created by your loving purpose and kept by
your abiding will.
It is in this-spirit and for this purpose that you have come
here to be joined together.
(Affirmation or Vows)
(You may pick other
vows or write your own)
Dale: Vows
Terry: Vows
Song: “Strong Enough to Bend” by: Tanya
Tucker
(Commitment)
Dale, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to
live together in marriage?
Will you love her, comfort her, and honor her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?
(I
Will!)
Terry, will you take this man to be your wedded husband, to
live together in marriage?
Will you love him, comfort him and honor him, in sickness
and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?
(I Will!)
(Ceremony of the
Rings)
Traditionally, the marking of the passage to the status of
husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings.
These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of Love,
given freely.
Which has no beginning and no end, no giver, and no receiver.
For each is the giver and each is the receiver.
May these rings always remind you of the vows you have
taken.
Each place the ring on the other's finger and repeat this
simple vow.
"With this ring, I thee wed."
(Native American Blessing)
I’d like to close with an Native American Blessing:
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the
shelter for each other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the
warmth for the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before
us.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life
together.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Dale and Terry, remember to treat both yourself and each
other with respect and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.
Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and
kindness that your connection deserves.
When frustration, difficulty or fear challenge your
relationship, as they threatened all relationships at one time or another,
remember to focus on what is right between you, not the part that seems wrong.
In this way, you can ride out the times when clouds hide the
face of the sun in your lives, remembering
that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.
And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of
your lives together, your life together will be
marked by abundance and delight.
(PRONOUNCEMENT!)
Inasmuch as you have consented together in this ceremony to
live in wedlock,
and have sealed your vows in the presence of this company,
and by the giving of these rings,
it gives me great pleasure to pronounce that you are now Husband
and Wife.
Congratulations!
You may now kiss as Husband and Wife and as done in many
cultures over the years,
Dale and Terry will Jump over the broom symbolizing
that they are committed to each other and are undertaking a Leap of Faith to
the future with each other.
Dale and Terry Jump the Broom
(Introduce the NEW
Couple!)
I now introduce you all to Mr. and Mrs. B.!
Song:____________________________________________
(Recessional)
This ends the Dale and Terry B.’s wedding ceremony!
Those who can, please carry your chairs and any others you
can help with to the eating area.
On behalf of Dale and Terry, THANK YOU!
Campy Out!
